We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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