Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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