So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
