I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
