i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
