and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
