just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
