Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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