i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
