Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
