im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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