...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
