I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize