You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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