Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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