Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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