Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
