Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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