Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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