I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
