My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
