Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
pray to the hookup gods
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
