Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
