Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
