My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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