some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
