whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
