i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
