i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
