As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
