Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
