I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
