I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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