Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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