First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
