i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So many bounce houses so little time
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
