this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
