I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Randomize
