Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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