mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
