I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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