Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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