I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
