I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
