Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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