If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
it glows. i had to have it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
