Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Its about making memories worth repressing
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
this is an emotional support booty call
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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