You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
In America we eat man semen.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
