Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize