i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
