; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
