the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize