My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize