just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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