I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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