im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
