bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
