brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
