seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
